& Friday, April 27, 2007
anticipating 4th may! =D even though there's science paper on that friday, i hope i'll be very happy! =D i hope all my wishes come true! haaz. =)
Labels: feelings.
( 9:22 PM )
& Friday, April 20, 2007
early dismissal =D chem was =D rap was O.O phys was >=( emaths was zzz. early dismissal was super =D went home changed met doris under her blk. she cut hair and everything. met jeremy for lunch. well.. we watched him eat -.- sports day. rained. anticipated it. some sort of. i hate my shins. i bloody hate them. anyway. 800m. for the first and last time, 2nd. hahaha =) doris first! weee!we were talking at the last 100m. LOLOLOL. we came almst tgthr but she was faster n she touched string first. but the string cut her neck. bloody pple holding string see she come in first still dont let go. want to kill her is it?! ): have blood ): 4by1 postponed. rain. -.-
saw him. with usual bunch of friends. wanted to go to him n talk. no chance. wanted to talk to him. but on the 2nd thoughts, why shld i acknowledge the cheating bastard. sigh when can i let go man.
dinner-ed with szeying n doris choo lame lame! =P was choosing Macs, KFC, Subway, LJS, Mosburger and cldnt decide. enny-minye-eeny-more and got Macs. =D sat for almst 2 hours? =) love them! =D Labels: feelings., school. grrr.
( 9:33 PM )
& Saturday, April 07, 2007
watched A Walk To Remember. read the book before and i think the book was nicer. but the show was pretty good too. o well. (;
Only Hope
There's a song that's inside of my soul
it's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I’m awake in the infinite cold
but you sing to me over and over and over again
Chorus:
So I lay my head back down
and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope
Sing to me the song of the stars
of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again
when it feels like my dreams are so far
sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again
Chorus
So I lay my head back down
and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope
I give you my destiny
I’m giving you all of me
I want your symphony
singing in all that I am
at the top of my lungs
I'm giving it back
Chorus
So I lay my head back down
and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope
Labels: feelings.
( 9:56 PM )
& Wednesday, April 04, 2007
foul mood these days. still going on. what the heck. sleepy + humid weather + i-dont-know-what. race on this saturday n sunday n next sat n sun n next next sat n sun. im feeling very cut up now. grrrr.Labels: feelings.
( 7:02 PM )
& Tuesday, March 27, 2007
not a very happy day. staying over at aunt's hse tonight. means tmr got to wake up extra early to go to school. -.-
hoobastank- out of control
I've done everything as you say
I've followed your rules without question
I thought it would help me see things clearly
But instead of helping me to see
I look around and it's like I'm blinded
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
Where should I go?
What should I do?
I don't understand what you want from me
Cause I don't know
If I can trust you
I don't understand what you want from me
I feel like I'm spinning out of control
Try to focus but everything's twisted
And all along I thought you would be there
(Thought you would be there)
To let me know I'm not alone
But in fact that's exactly what I was
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
Where should I go?
What should I do?
I don't understand what you want from me
Cause I don't know
If I can trust you
All of the things you've said to me
I may never know the answer
To this endless mystery
Where should I go?
What should I do?
I don't understand what you want from me
Is it a mystery?
Is it a mystery?
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
I'm spinning out of control...
Where should I go?
What should I do?
I don't understand what you want from me
Cause I don't know
If I can trust you
All the things you've said to me
And I may never know the answer
To this endless mystery
Where should I go?
What should I do?
I don't understand what you want from me
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
Labels: feelings., lyrics, school. grrr.
( 3:52 PM )
& Saturday, March 24, 2007
Lily Allen- Littlest Thing
Sometimes I find myself sitting back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissing
And I remember when you started calling me your miss's
All the play fighting, all the flirtatious disses
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood
I don't why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt
[Chorus]
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too.
The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?
Drinking tea in bed
Watching DVD's
When I discovered all your dirty grotty magazines
You take me out shopping and all we'd buy is trainers
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us
the first time that you introduced me to your friends
and you could tell I was nervous, so you held my hand
when I was feeling down, you made that face you do
no one in the world who could replace you
[Chorus]
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of me and you
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you feel the same way too
The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?
Labels: feelings., lyrics
( 11:15 AM )
& Monday, March 19, 2007
sch tdy! new timetable? abt the same la. not say all lessons cut short timing or whatever. -.- almst late? but i wasnt! =D haaz edmund was late on the last day of term one and also late on the first day of term two. lololololol. anqin said,"have ending of cos must have starting." lololololol.
dadeeeda.
combined humans so grrrrr. doris kept disturbing me! =x how i wish i wasnt afraid of tickles! ): anyway filing sucks la. suck suck suck la.
mother tongue sucks kay kay kay? idiotic.
recess suck suck suck tooooooooo! freaking auntie scolded me. -.- doris is the one who always ordered pineapple. not meeeeee. i order orange. freak. when i ordered orange juice, she nagged! said that she prepared 2 packets of pineapple for me alrdy then i never buy. fucktard.
no1. i didnt preordered or whatsoever.
no2. cut so early not nice alrdy la!
no3. quit jumping to conclusion whenever there's uncertainty.
no4. this is not fun!
she sort of shouted,"i have you in my heart you dont have me in your heart!"
heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyie! what the fuck?!
no1. i didnt ask you to have me in our heart.
no2. youre not sincere to have me in your heart cos im not the one who orders pineapple everytime in the first place!
no3. there's no freaking link!
pissed! i wasnt in a very good mood to start off with and hey no need to add fuel to the alrdy raging fire! ): watched soccer and calmed down. until. some freaky brainless bastards threw waterbomb down. yesyes sense of humour i have. but continuosly bombing the place n laughing like hyenas! sec5s somemore. freaks. spoiling the game. jeering. everything! never offend you freaks right right right?! grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. spoil my mood only! grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
phys. mdm leong didnt come. sort of cheered me up! =D sat back at my old sitting with jian lin cos i missed that place! so near the door! =x and mainly also cos anqin wanted to sit next to doris who was supposedly sitting next to me. -.- haaz. her birthday tmr! =D so let her lo. =x heh. =x
reading.. assembly. boring boring. same old annual lecture. -.- pretty scary.okay so contradicting but o so what. smart pple= JCs. i always thought that was it. who knows. smart pple= polys. not so gifted in educational purposes= roaming arnd aimlessly. ): scary. ): i want to get into ngee annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! ):
hse practice, okay la. suhaizat's mum is so sweet too! (;
Labels: feelings., school. grrr.
( 6:49 PM )
& Sunday, March 18, 2007
Toni Braxton- Spanish Guitar
A smoky room, a small cafe
They come to hear you play
And drink and dance the night away
I sit out in the crowd
And close my eyes
Dream you're mine
But you don't know
You don't even know that I am there
I wish that I was in your arms
Like that Spanish guitar
And you would play me through the night
'Till the dawn
I wish you'd hold me in your arms
Like that Spanish guitar
All night long, all night long
I'd be your song, I'd be your song
Steal my heart with every note you play
I pray you'll look my way
And hold me to your heart someday
I long to be the one that you caress with tenderness
And you don't know
You don't even know that I exist
I wish that I was in your arms
Like that Spanish guitar
And you would play me through the night
'Till the dawn
I wish you'd hold me in your arms
Like that Spanish guitar
All night long, all night long
I'd be your song, I'd be your song
Te sientas entre la gente
Cierras tu ojos
Y suenas que soy tuyo
Pero yo no siquiera se que estas ahi
Me gustaria tenerte entre mis brazos amor
I sit out in the crowd
And close my eyes
Dream you're mine
And you don't know
You don't even know that I exist
I wish that I was in your arms
Like that Spanish guitar
And you would play me through the night
'Till the dawn
I wish you'd hold me in your arms
Like that Spanish guitar
All night long, all night long
I'd be your song, I'd be your song
there has never been a finishing point.
Labels: feelings., lyrics
( 7:14 PM )
&
reached home at arnd 10 plus? morn woke up collected grandma's bones n ashes and it's so stup. those females with Mrs Red visiting them cannot touch the bones nor ashes. freak. ): trained home and did hmwk. tution later. school tmr. like, finally?! the hols wasnt like hols at all. Labels: family, feelings.
( 12:52 PM )
& Saturday, March 17, 2007
hmmm. ytd.
went home then sch. sch bus-ed all the way to turf city. race. akira nike. weeee. improved. not as much pple as national cross country but still, quite okay. (: blss girls; doris first. me next. followed by vani then husna. our position was okay. just super happy i overtook one cedar girl during the last part. (: suria did our sch proud again! =D 11th. (: norman was 28th? kumaran 45th i think. suhaizat i not so sure. went back sch. guys n girls went home. doris n i went to staff room with ms azlin. sat at mrs ramesh's table! wahahaha! anyway it's cos it's just next to ms azlin's table? heez. jp-ed awhile. homed. bathed. checked email n did a little hmwk. off to grandma's house again. so noisy the clanging thingy. im going deaf man. ): not say make so much noise she'll come back......
tdy.
woke up breakfast-ed. prayed n everything. so noisy again the clanging noise. 10am set off. to the sin ming? for the cremation. ): so sad. burn burn burn. nothing's left but ashes. tmr have to collect? tnite staying over at grandma's hse again.
tmr maybe no tution? argh! im so lost at the rotation thingy. freaky thing. ): bathed n to grandma's house.
hus, doris, me, fatin. took this 2 years back? cant decide on my fave edited one.
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that day we went to sentosa. andrew, sam, me, doris, suhaizat's sister, suhaizat.
poor andrew. oya qiting was the photographer.Labels: family, feelings., friends; pals; bestie
( 5:04 PM )
& Thursday, March 15, 2007
hmmmmm.finally im home! temporary. -.- i miss my home man! these few days stayed at grandma's hse. for the wake. skipped combined humans ytd cos it's the first day of the wake. tdy went for chem. was over the moon cos phys remedial was cancelled. =D chem remedial's time passed so quickly! too fast. ): i miss seeing friends. ): anyway. blah. gave suhaizat his cake/muffins n first time i seen him so touched. hah. =x those kind of geniunely touched face. cool! =x off to frontier for lunch with ah ling! jp-ed cos hse wanted to look for something. tmr there's race at turf city! 4.7km! omg omg omg. wish me luck man. ): i've no ran for a few weeks alrdy. ): i've a strong strong feeling that this year i wont perform well for races. from sports day to national cross-country to nationals to poly races. ): o well. off to grandma's house soon! =/Labels: family, feelings., friends; pals; bestie, school. grrr., track
( 3:48 PM )
& Saturday, March 03, 2007
the feeling- love it when you call
I found a switch
Turned it on
I hit the ditch
You carried on
I was so near
Now you're so far
Are you quite sure
Just who you are
O IIIIIO
you could chose a friend but you don't seem to have the time
O IIIIII
wonder if you ever get to say what's on your mind
O take a little time, take a little time
I love it when you call
I love it when you call
I love it when you call
But you never call at all
So what's the complication it's only conversation
I love it when you call
But you never call at all
Remember me, I used to be the best time buddy
That you couldn't wait to see
But getting old, it takes its toll
And hearts getting broken lead to people growing cold
O IIIIII
I'm flipping with a coin that's got a tail on either side
O IIIIII
I'm gonna be the one who makes you stop and realise
You could have it all
We should have it all
I love it when you call
I love it when you call
I love it when you call
But you never call at all
So what's the complication it's only conversation
I love it when you call
But you never call at all
Yea I wonder where you been
Yea I wonder who you seen
And I hope you find your train
When you do I really hope it's all it seems
I love it when you call
I love it when you call
I love it when you call
But you never call at all
So what's the complication it's only conversation
I love it when you call
But you never call at all
Labels: feelings., lyrics
( 9:44 PM )
& Thursday, March 01, 2007
dixie chicks- not ready to make nice
Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting
I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price
And I'll keep paying
I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and
I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should
I know you said
Can't you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it
I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don't mind saying
It's a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Saying that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over
I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and
I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cos I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should
I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and
I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it rightI probably wouldn't if I could
Cos I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should
Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting
Labels: feelings., lyrics
( 5:37 PM )
& Tuesday, February 20, 2007
rushing for time cos im going to play game before my cousins come.
morn to aftnn- met doris & anqin. off to mdm loo's house. super nice and i think shes the best chinese teacher in the world la. not cos of the red packets but cos of her teaching me since sec 1. damn chinese teacher changed to mdm peng this year. damn! anyway many pple also went to mdm loo's hse. (:
aftnn went to eat with anqin & ah ling. forgot to bring cash! grrrrrrr. used card. -.- waste money! ):
homed arnd after afternoon. =x raining. zzz. tv-ed all the way. o shit.
now-> game after this! (; then maybe do the lit essay about being loyal singaporean whatever shit.
future-> im going to be serious in my work. (;
back to present-> game! (;
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"They've seen me frazzled and incompetent, at my most vulnerable. i havent had to put on a front or an act efficient or pretend i know everything."
- The Undomestic Goddess.
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Labels: feelings.
( 7:45 PM )
& Monday, February 19, 2007
now i know why today left me with a wierd feeling. it's the 19th again. 19th Febuary too. so fast 1 year passed. yay. not. so not yay.Labels: feelings.
( 8:43 PM )
& Sunday, February 11, 2007
The Tony Rich Project- Nobody Knows
I pretended I'm glad you went away
These four walls closin' more every day
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me
Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
Now I'm cryin' inside
And nobody knows it but me
Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a-tumblin' down
I can see it so clearly
But you're nowhere around
The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me
I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
Now I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside, and nobody knows it but me
I lie awake, its a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night
As if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah my heart is callin' you
And nobody knows it but me
How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle its been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say just how I feel
A million years from now you know I'll be lovin' you still
The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me
Tomorrow mornin' I'm hittin' the dusty road
Gonna find you wherever, ever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart
And hope you come back to me
Said when the nights are lonely...
Labels: feelings., lyrics
( 10:04 AM )
& Saturday, February 10, 2007
im not those kinds who can forget the past easily. especially not after some reminders. something triggered those memories. bloody hell. this is so difficult.Labels: feelings.
( 10:10 PM )
& Wednesday, January 17, 2007
i really dont know what to do. ive always loved running since i was in p2. the passion started forming and soon i was the best female runner in pri sch as what my coach told me. i loved running so damn bloody much. then the coach pulled me into track. i continued with hockey as my first cca though. then when i entered boon lay i was so pissed. cos there was no hockey. but i was freaking overjoyed cos there's track! okay cross-country. unfortunately, i was allocated to vball. -.- okay fine joined track anyway regardless what that bong said. loved running all the way til sec3. shins' splint. great. both shins injured. i took a bloody break and from then on, my freaking stamina dropped all the bloody way to my toes. so heartbreaking! it's like.. not some dumb typical break-up-with-a-boyfriend kind of feeling. it's so much worse. my eight-year passion cheating on me. okay not cheating on me. i made a mistake to rest. cos nevertheless, this pain followed me all the way til today, 17th jan 2007. blah. stupid freaking break indeed. last time it was like the more i run the more i love it. now it's like. the more i run the more i hate it? i asked ms azlin whrthr can i step down as vice-capt or not. then doris can just replace me. ms azlin gave me a week to think over. i even told her i wanted to quit sch team. just join the recreational team la. whatever. this saturday having a race at ngee ann. if i dont go, the whole girls team cant go. so of cos i have to go. sigh.. i dont want to pull the team down? but then why should i continue if i hate running? okay blah. i have a week to think through. a bloody week. ive thought about quiting track totally since the ending of november last yr. now im given a week to think through abt not quiting sch team and not stepping down. if i quit, i cant turn back and cry over spilt milk. if i dont quit, im just stressing my shins and my heart out and wasting precious time. my 8 year passion versus wasting time and stressing my shins. ):? this has otally ruined my mood for the whole training just now. ):Labels: feelings., track
( 6:42 PM )
& Sunday, January 14, 2007
things im going to say goodbye to:
1. long hours blog-hopping & msn-ing & gaming.
2. long hours of tv watching(though thrs like nothing nice to watch lately)
3. long hours of lying on the bed staring into space.
4. literally & basically staring into space.
5. trust people with eyes closed but heart opened.
6. junk food.
things im going to say hello to:
1. many hmwk from tution and school.
2. more intensive trainings.
3. minus 5kg.
4. more sit-ups.
5. more greens & fruits.
6. more water.
things im going to search for:
1. passion for running. it's gone.
2. determination.
3. self-discipline.Labels: feelings.
( 5:50 PM )
& Friday, December 22, 2006
haaz so long never update alrdy. hmmm. basically..
12th dec.. went suntanning at sentosa with ben & doris. ben joined us at 4 plus? that was 5 hours since doris & i had been under the roasting sun swimming and playing. -.- urm.. he came with a soccer ball so we fooled arnd then bathe then dinner or something like that? cant rlly remember. ah ling & i were so freakingly burn (i like!) n omfg. the skin peel sucks. totally sucks.
then blah blah every mon wed & fri had trainings. fastforward..
met tappity ytd! (: super! (:
tdy.. training.
my love for running seems to be fading rapidly. i used to run to feel good. now the more i run the worse i feel. im not running to win. im running to feel good! so what the hell went wrong. the track & i dont seem to connect. it's like asking me to stop running on it. okay blah. running has never felt so torturous before in my entire 8 years of running life. no motivation? my time has ended? o wells. i miss loving running.
-what is love.Labels: feelings., random
( 8:10 PM )
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